Monday, April 26, 2010

A Tutorial for Mr. Tharoor

We all know about Shashi Tharoor and IPL. Now he lost his minister job. I read in the web he stated he is devastated at the charges made against him. He also said that he has requested the Prime Minister to investigate the complaints against him. In addition, he said he has done nothing unlawful or illegal.

This guy Tharoor has spent too many years away from India and at the United Nations. I have been at the United Nations’ cocktail reception couple of times. The diplomatic niceties observed there will not work in India. He is unfit to be an Indian politician. He is not going to win the support of people of Kerala with these kinds of statements. He is yet to learn how to maneuver in Indian politics.

Since my job is to give advice to others, I am requesting Mr. Tharoor that he make a statement something like the following:

“I want to do something worthwhile for Kerala. But those people who don’t want Kerala to prosper have conspired against me. The cricket establishment in India has a step mother attitude toward Kerala. Is it wrong for me to try and have an IPL team in Kerala?

All these years, the Indian cricket establishment was dominated by Maharashtrians, Kannadigas, and Bengalis. Kerala has only one “test” level cricket player. Even he was slapped on the cheeks by a “not so good” player from Punjab. Are we to tolerate this kind of injustice?

I want Kerala’s backward community and minority community people to participate in cricket activities and dethrone the domination of Maharashtrians, Kannadigas, and Bengalis. And, the upper class people in India do not want backward community and minority community people of Kerala to excel in cricket. They are afraid of us.

Therefore, I am quitting from the Congress Party. I am going to start my own political party in Kerala. It will be named as the Kerala Cricket Purogamana Sanghadana. I will be the President of the party. Mathaji Sunanda Pushkar will be the General Secretary.

Our party’s goal is to have at least 3 IPL teams in Kerala. One in Kochi, another one in Trivandrum, and the third one in Guruvayoor. (ende Guruvayoorappan rakshikkattum) (Translation: May Lord Guruvayoorappan protect me.)

Our muslim brothers in Malappuram District should wait until next year. We will have the 4th IPL team there. I assure you that all the players in that team will be muslims. Inshallah.

If all the cricket lovers in Kerala join my party and support me, I will be the next Chief Minister of Kerala. I will defeat all the political parties in Kerala. Since I have lived in foreign countries only and came to India because I could not get the U.N. Secretary General job, I am not familiar with all the political parties in Kerala. They have so many parties with similar sounding names and I get confused. For example:

4 parties with the word “communist”.
8 parties with the word “congress”.
3 parties with the word “janata”.
4 parties with the word “revolutionary”.

I will bring the next T20 Cricket World Cup to Kerala. They will be played in 5 important towns: Kollam, Kannur, Kozhikode, Kottayam and Kasaragod. There is an important reason to select these 5 towns. They all start with the letter K as in Kerala.

I will try to recruit Shantakumaran Sreesanth as the Vice President of our Party. If he agrees for that, I will make sure the next T20 Cricket World Cup Final is played in his home town, Kothamangalam.

My fellow Keralites, whether you live in Kerala or in Gulf countries, please support me and my cause. Long Live Kerala Cricket Purogamana Sanghadana. Thank you.”

(SG's Note: We are going on cruise holiday. Will be back after May 11.)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lights Show

Stunning Northern Lights show above Iceland’s volcano. Picture courtesy: Reuters.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Unsung Hero

Saraswati Rajamani’s family is from Trichy, Tamilnadu. Her father was involved in the Indian freedom movement. The British were looking for him. In order to escape from the British, he ran away to Burma with his wife.

Saraswati and her sister were born in Burma. Her father started a business and it flourished very well. He became one of the richest person in Burma.

In the meantime, Netaji Subash Chandra Bose organized the Indian National Army and started to fight the British. He came to Burma and spoke in a meeting. He mesmerized the audience with his narration of the sufferings of Indians and his plans to drive the British out of India. Young Saraswati was moved by his speech. Since she was a very rich girl, she had diamond jewelries from head to toe. She removed all the diamonds and gave to Netaji to be used by the Indian National Army.

Saraswati joined the Indian National Army and rose to the rank of Captain in the INA’s Burma regiment. She became chief of the espionage operations for the INA.

Saraswati and her family lost all the money for the cause of India’s independence. While rescuing some INA soldiers during a bombing raid, 3 bullets went into her right leg. The doctors removed these 3 bullets. Since then she is unable to walk properly.

After independence, she came back to India and settled in Chennai. During the struggle for independence, there was acute shortage of clothes. So, Saraswati knows the importance of clothes. Even at this old age, she goes to tailor shops and collects fabrics that are rejected by them. She makes clothes from them and donates to orphanages.

She gets a meager pension as a freedom fighter. During the tsunami time, she donated her one month pension and lived by drinking tea only for a month.

She is a real unsung hero.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Yogi Berra

Lawrence Peter Berra was a professional baseball player in USA. His nick name is “Yogi”. He later became manager of New York Yankees, a professional baseball team.

He is credited with this nickname by one of his school friends. This friend said that he resembled a Hindu holy man (yogi) they had seen in a movie.

Yogi is also one of the most quoted figures in the world. He is credited with coining the deceptively simplistic observation. He is also known for his botching and bungling. Here are some examples:

"It ain't over till it's over."

"This is like deja vu all over again."

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

"Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.

"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."

"I made a wrong mistake."

"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."

"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"I didn't really say everything I said."

"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."

"It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."

Thursday, April 15, 2010

My Favorite Annoying People

Everyday we come across people who annoy us. They rub us the wrong way. The moment we see them, we want to slap them. But we don’t do that. They may be anybody. Our relatives, friends, neighbors, bosses, coworkers, lawyers, doctors, or just plain strangers. Following is a list of my favorite annoying people.

People with annoying voices.


People who are so totally perfect that you would love to hate them, if only they weren't so nice to you all the time.

Fashion designers.

Mothers who let their children run around screaming in stores.

People who don't realize that it's rude to pick your nose in public.

People who answer rhetorical questions incorrectly.

Tall people who sit right in front of you in theatres.

People who arbitrarily turn nouns into verbs.

People with poor personal hygiene.

People who repeat themselves.

People who whistle tunelessly.

Unfunny people who really believe that they have wonderful senses of humor.

People who correct your grammar and pronunciation.

People who call you on the phone and greet them by saying "Hi, who's this?" as though they you called them.

Bill O’Reilly of Fox Network (He thinks he is the smartest person in the world and he thinks he is always right.)

Ross Perot, Billionaire (He says he has plans to solve America’s problems but will reveal that plan only if he is elected as President of USA.)

Rush Limbaugh (Hates democrats, Mexicans, blacks, Portaricans, Asians, and for that matter anyone who is a human being.)

Susan Sarandon, Actress (Her liberal propaganda is the most annoying.)

Heidi and Spencer Pratt, Reality Show Contestants (They will do anything to be in the spotlight and also to keep showing their faces on TV)

If you have any favorite annoying person, please share with us.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Job Offer? No Thanks.

Recently a friend of mine applied for a job in a company. He went for the usual 3 or 4 rounds of interviews. Finally, the HR called and said that they are taking a risk in him and offering a job. My friend was stunned. He never expected that the HR would make such a stupid statement while making a job offer.

When I heard about this, I asked two people known to me. One is a CEO of a medium sized Company. He is a U.S. born Indo-American. Another one is a well known HR specialist in USA. She has written a book and also writes her own blog. In order to protect the identity of my friend, I told both of them I received a job offer with this statement from HR. Here is what they have to say:

The CEO told me over the phone that it is a negotiation tactic to reduce the compensation package. It is also a tactic to put the prospective employee on guard for the next 2 or 3 years. You will work hard to prove you are not a risk and won’t ask for any salary increase. He also said: Actually, you should tell the HR person that they need not take a risk on you. And, you should also tell them that you have 3 other job offers and if they want you, they should “sell” their company to you”

The HR specialist wrote me an email. I was surprised she responded to my email within one hour. Here is what she wrote:

“It's one of two things. Either it's a negotiation tactic, like you suspect, designed to make you not ask for more money, or it's an awkward attempt at a compliment. I can think of a couple of times when I've said to a candidate who knew her experience was on the light side, "We had candidates with more experience than you, but ultimately we were really impressed with your ____ and think you would excel in the job." It's possible that the HR person was going for something like that and screwed up the delivery.

On the other hand, do you think you're a risk? If it's clear that you're not the traditional ideal candidate for the role but you pushed for them to take a risk on a new approach, then maybe she was just acknowledging that. But if that were the case, you probably wouldn't be asking me.

And frankly, the reality is that every hire is a risk to one degree or another. People can blow you away in an interview and then crash and burn once on the job. But hiring managers don't normally feel the need to remind candidates of that when making an offer.”

Yes, hiring managers will not say this to a prospective employee. But the HR makes stupid statements. (If there are any readers who read my posts regularly and happen to be an HR person, you are an exception. Hey, I don't want to lose my readers.)

My friend politely declined the job offer. Good for him.

What do you think? Looking forward to reading your views.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

100th Post

I started to write my own blog last June and the time passed very quickly. Here I am writing my 100th post.

I would like to thank 2 people for this.

First is my wife. She is my number one fan and my number one criticizer. I am not saying this just for the sake of saying. It is true. I can write a long post about which of my posts she ROFL and which ones she criticized vehemently.

The next one is my blog guru, Insignia. After reading her posts only, I got inspiration to write my own blog. She not only encouraged that but also initially “set up” my blog (technicalities). I always try to copy her writing style. Copying is the best form of flattery. Isn’t it!

I have some followers to my blog. Just 2 sentences about this group. I don’t have the biggest group. But I have the best group.

I came "this close" to announcing this post as my last one because I thought I had lost interest. I certainly do not have a writer's block. My well wishers persuaded me to continue. I will continue to write. Thanks for supporting me, my friends.

I hit a century. Don't I have to celebrate that in a big way? Yes, of course. We have booked a 7 night cruise to Mexico leaving from Los Angeles on May 2. The ship will stop at 3 ports for sightseeing. Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. This is our second cruise vacation. Looking forward to this cruise.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Southern Accent and Sayings

Even though every one speaks English in the United States, each region has its own accent. Of all the regions, the Southern region accent or drawl is very famous. When a woman from Southern region speaks with that southern drawl, it is considered very charming and sexy. Most of the Americans are fascinated by southern accent.

There is always this joke that when Henry Kissinger and President Jimmy Carter met, they had to bring their own translators. Henry Kissinger with his thick German accent and Jimmy Carter with his Southern drawl.

Southern drawl can be described as a gliding diphthongization of stressed vowel. For example, they pronounce “yae-yis” for “yes”. “ti-ahm” for “time”. “ah” for “i”. "Ah'm dyoo home at fahv o'clock” means “I am due home at five o’clock”. “dyuty” for “duty”.

Short i is pronounced for short e. Therefore, Memphis is mimphis and Tennessee is Tinnissi.

Final consonants are often weakened. “mo” for “more”. “bes” for “best”. “flo” for “floor”

I can go on and on and on.

President Bill Clinton is from South. His wife Hillary Clinton is not from South. When she was campaigning for the Democratic Party’s nomination as a candidate for the President of USA (against Obama), she used fake Southern accent to woo the Southern voters. Take a look at it.

In addition, Southerners have their own sayings and special meanings for words. Here are some of them:

Ain't that the berries! (that is great!)

Caught with your pants down. (surprised and unprepared)

Do go on. (you must be joking)

Don't let your mouth overload your tail. (talking too much)

Don't bite off more than you can chew. (attempt what you can accomplish)

Go hog wild. (have a good time)

Go to bed with the chickens. (in bed early)

In high cotton. (rising up in society)

Every dog should have a few feas. (no one is perfect)

Like two peas in a pod. (act and think alike)

That takes the cake. (surprised)

Well, shut my mouth. (shocked and speechless)

AIRISH- cold

CHUNK- throw, toss

DIXIE- Southern States of the U.S.A

HOLD YOUR HORSES- (be patient)

MUCH OBLIGED- thank you; hope to return the favor

PIDDLE- waste time, doing nothing

RECKON- think or supose so.

SHINDIG- dance or celebration

SOUTHERN BELLE- Southern lady

SPRING CHICKEN- young thing

SWEET TALKING THING- has a good line

WORRY-WART- one who is annoying

YOSELF – yourself

CO’COLA – coca cola